Love and laughter... Letters to my kids.

Dear Adelade, 

I love you. You are the sweetest brightest little girl I know. I sometimes can't believe you are such a big girl. I love when you read your book "Otto & Todd" to me. I love how you look up to me as you "read" the words with a big smile on your face. I love the dance shows you put on, and how you "la-la--la" the whole time. I love how you want to help me in the kitchen, and I'm sorry when I don't have the patience for you, I'm working on it. 

You absolutely love being a princess, you change princess dresses, or princess nightgowns at least 3 or 4 times a day. 

Today we went for a walk and you made snow angels and crawled in the snow and licked the snow, I wish I could replay this moment over and over. Tonight though, when I was yelling at you about not being fast enough at getting dressed, I hope you forget that. I hope you forget all the times I get upset and just remember that I love you, and would do anything for you. I am not perfect....WAY NOT perfect but becoming your mom was the best thing I ever did in my life. You bring so much joy to our family. Your smile and laughter and kisses are little blessings I sometimes, most times, don't deserve, but you love me anyway!! 

Keep being the energetic lovely girl you are, you make the world better.

Love, your Mom xo 

Dear Bentley, 

Oh Benty bear. Your smile, your smile is a gift for God to me, I just know it. It's really a gift to everyone. The other day at superstore we were at the cashand you saw this older man with a big mustache and he couldn't stop waving at him. I put you down and you couldn't walk fast enough over to him. You put your arms up to him and wanted him to pick you up. This complete stranger, you just adored, you made him smile and if he was having a bad day you made it better. 

Today while we were walking, you just loved walking in the snow, you were cracking up. It was hilarious!! You literally were pretending to laugh. It was so cute! You LOVE LOOOOOVE to climb onto everything, especially the piano & and the kitchen table, I just really hope you never learn how to climb onto the fridge. Seriously, no. You love to drink water out of cups (more like spill), play with tooth brushes, and play cars!!! Yes, you love other things, but these things are definitely some of your top 10!! I love how you suck your thumb ONLY in your crib, or when you are almost in your crib. 

Some of the best moments are when you are really tired and you put your head on my shoulder, it doesn't happen often but when it does I wish I could pause life. 

Thank you for bringing joy and laughter into our family and into my life. Keep smiling.

Love, Your Mom xo 

Christmas & New Years!!

Christmas & New Years and all the in between:

1. Christmas: Christmas was simple and sweet. We spent Christmas Eve at my Dads enjoying some yummy appetizers. Then came home and opened 1 gift (pjs), Bentley was not enthused at all he just wanted his bottle & bed. Adelade was genuinely excited about a Dora nightgown. 

Christmas Morning the kids slept in until 9! It was lovely. We opened stockings, ate cereal then opened the rest of the gifts. The kids didn't get much, but they were beyond thrilled with everything they got. Adelade got all things Elsa. Her "uncle" Thomas (was sooo generous) got her a handmade Elsa dress that Adelade wore all day until she ripped it (which reminds me I need to fix it). Bentley didn't get that excited, but he got a few mini trucks that entertained him. We were so blessed to have scored a free "toy tool set", which was a joint gift to them that they played with for at least an hour!! Haha!! Bentley was very amused by the pretend drill that made noise and shone lights. We will be sure not to keep any "real tools" near the play ones!! They are terribly similar. 

Then I rallied everyone together to go to the park, it wasn't super cold, but it was cold enough that our park adventure only lasted about 30 minutes. My favorite moment was pushing them both on the baby swings. They giggled and their cheeks were rosy. It was lovely.  I loved how low key Christmas Day was and it was so easy to be with each other, I am really grateful for my sweet husband and my hooligan kids!! 

We had Christmas Dinner at my Dads. It was yummy and very nice to be with Family. 

Then from Boxing Day to the day before New Years Eve we spent with Matthew's family. There was ice skating (not for Bentley & I...he thought napping would be more fun), Christmas Dinner, Stallen Bread, cross iron mills, Perogie making (I now know how much work is involved in making these tasty morsels!!...they were worth it!...all 300 of them!), outdoor runs, games, going to the movies, Pride & Prejudice & many many hours of Bentley crying and refusing to sleep. It was awesome! And by awesome I mean NOT AWESOME AT ALL!! Eventually by night 3 it only took an hour for him to finally stop crying after countless cuddles. He really wanted to be part of the party!! Adelade & Bentley had a wonderful time building relationships with their cousins--They played with each other so well for 3 days. They also ate their quota for mini candy canes!! I know now Bentley really likes hard candies! Like....a lot!! 

Matthew and I got some nights to ourselves, so we got a few extra hours of delightful SLEEP!!! We even got to go shopping on our own and the new hunger games movie. I am so grateful for family who is willing to lend a helping hand. 

2. New Years 2014 included a couple of cranky parents and kids buying some chicken wings, veggies & dip as well as a short trip to Target. We then came home and put kid number 2 to bed (Benty bear...he was most upset about life!). He missed out on watching Despicable me 2 while having a mini picnic. The wings were so good!! I went to my best friends for a few minutes to help her decide on a New Years dress, it helped me not be so cranky!! (I don't know what it was but I was a major cranky lady the past few days, now I'm all good!! Haha!) Matthew and I watched the last 2 episodes of BBC's Pride & Prejudice....it's all on YouTube you know?! We had been watching it over the last few days with Matthew's family and I really really wanted to watch the last episodes. Matthew must love me a whole bunch because he agreed to the crazy idea! We then ate large amounts of Christmas chips ahoy & Christmas Oreos and actually missed when the clock struck midnight. Good times!! We stayed up until 1:30, why? I have no idea!! 

4. After New Years: 

On Friday (today) we went to Okotoks to pay respect to my Mom, it is the anniversary of her passing in a few days. It was bitterly cold and the wind was blowing hard, so we showed the kids her grave stone, snapped a few pics and said a sweet & simple prayer. It lasted about 2 minutes! We want the kids to remember their "Nana Wenda" so we are trying to teach them about her every so often.

Then we stopped and got some frozen yogurt before heading home. There I was telling Adelade about my Mom, I asked her what color of hair she thought she had, after a few seconds of deliberating Adelade answered enthusiaticly "PINK"!! It was very sweet, I have to regretfully inform her that her hair was brown. I told her about her smile and how kind she was, then Adelade just bursted out "I love her!!! I love Nana Wenda, don't you Mommy? Don't you Daddy? don't you Bentley?" I don't want to forget this moment. Then tonight as we said our prayers Adelade prayed about how thankful she is for Nana Wenda, this was after she said "I'm grateful nana Wenda's not died", then we had to say "no she has died", then she said "I'm grateful nana Wenda died" oh her sweet innocence!! :) 

I'm excited for another wonderful year with my team of 4!!! 

December 22, 2009

On this day 5 years ago, my life was very very different. 

I was happily dating a super stud, and we were in love. I lived at home with my Dad, I had 2 part time jobs, and I was going into my last semester in University. Matthew and I had only been dating since Septmeber but I knew he was the one, we had talked about getting married, we even went ring shopping (which might I add was way more terrifying than I though it would be!! Haha). It was going to be our first Christmas together, except I was getting on a plane in less than 24 hours with my Dad to visit my family in Montreal for the holidays. I was sad to leave him, since it was my first Christmas ever having a boyfriend, and well that in and of itself was enough to make me sad. But I was also happy to go see my family in Montreal as it had been a number of years since I'd seen them. 

So a few days before Matthew had the "talk" with my dad...the "can I marry your daughter" talk. I was just as nervous as he was because I knew my dad wasn't big on marriage, and we hadn't been dating long. at. all. But it went good and he gave Matthew the go ahead, well he technically said " he didn't need his permission" so Matthew was confused for a large portion of the conversation, but in the end it was clear that it was okay to ask me to marry him. Ahhh!!! It was so nerve racking. 

So back to the 22nd, I was eye high in dirty clothes and attempting to pack. I think Matthew was helping me clean my room, or something like that. All I really remember is allllll night my Dad kept saying "so are you engaged yet?" " you know he better ask you soon, because we leave tomorrow", I kept replying "no, we aren't engaged yet, we will be when he asks". I knew Matthew wasn't going to ask me before I left for Montreal because a week earlier he said the ring was going to come in while I was away. Anyway, at around 10:30pm we decided to go for a walk, I remember thinking in my head, maybe he should just ask me so my Dad stops pestering us. (But how romantic is that, "can you please just pop the question already?!") so off on our walk we went. It was freezing and snowing. We went for a walk down into fish creek. It was so quiet out and the snow was cold and fuzzy as it fell from the sky. I don't remember what we talked about, but I'm sure we talked. We had been walking for about 20 minutes and had gotten to a spot we had been to before when we had first started dating. We walked off the path a bit and up this hill, that had a lot of snow. I remember I was not wearing very warm pants or shoes...my legs were numb and my toes were cold. I thought " why are we walking up here, I get it, it's cute, but why---I'm so cold!" But I went along with it because I was in love. So we got about half way up and Matthew put our gloves down in the snow for me to sit on, awe how sweet!! So I sat down and happily did not freeze my tushy. Matthew then sat down, with his back towards me sort of. I remember thinking, why is he sitting like that?!. I think Matthew said something to me like "remember when we were here last? Do you know what we talked about", for the life of me I can't remember what I said but I remember thinking " is he about to ask what I think he might ask?!" And before I knew it he turned toward me and was on one knee opening a small box (it was really quite smooth) with a ring inside. All I know is that I starting balling like a baby. Tears were falling from my eyeballs!!! I wish I could say I remember everything Matthew said, but all I remember (even in the moment) is he pronounced my middle name wrong (that's what happens when you hardly know each other lol) and I'm pretty sure he asked me to marry him. So I said yes!! I was so overwhelmed by my thoughts of "this is it!!! This is your moment!! This is the moment you got engaged!!!!" And I was also afraid he was going to drop the ring in the snow, it really impeded on my listening skills. So after I finished crying and said yes--we hugged and kissed and put the ring on my finger. 

Then we walked back home and I don't remember being very cold anymore. I was too busy being excited to be cold!! We got home and my Dad wasn't very surprised that we were engaged, but he was happy for us! I called some of my close girl friends and they came over and then at around midnight Matthew and I celebrated with a big plate of perogies.

It's hard to believe how much my life has changed in 5 years. Matthew and I have grown a lot individually and as a couple. He will always be my one true love. I am just as in love with him as I was 5 years ago, if not more. I'm so grateful he chose me, and asked me to be his companion forEVER!! I know that people spend their life searching for love, so I am going to cherish and hold on to the love that Matthew and I have, it's special and it's ours. 

True love exists, I believe in it, I found it--I opened my heart to it and I'm not letting go. 

The things I must remember & a quote I must remember!!

1. The way Bentley picks up stuffed animals and hugs them under his chin.

2. The way Bentley specifically sits on the heat register in the kitchen.

3. How Adelade reminds me to pray before every meal.

4. How Adelade always goes to bed wearing pajamas, yet ceases to wake up wearing anything.

5. The way Matthew says "I love you" about a bazillion times before we ever leave each other. 

6. How calming the Christmas tree all lit up and decorated is. 

7. The way Bentley smiles at me through his crib when we wakes up from his naps.

8. How Adelade has worn a princess dress every single day since she turned 3. 

9. That Adelade wants cuddles from me every night. I feel bad some nights I say no. 

10. How happy Adelade gets when I lay in her toddler bed with her.

11. How much Adelade and Bentley love to play in the couchfort with flashlights. 

12. How comforting it is to come home to a warm house full of people I love and love me back. 

13. How Bentley loves to "brush" his teeth while standing on the toilet.

14. That no matter how many times I tell Bentley to not climb on the table, he still climbs on the table with the biggest grin on his face. 

15. The way Adelade dances and prances around the living room. 

16. The way Bentley tries to copy Adelade's dances. Instead he toddles around flapping his arms and bending side to side. Seriously so so cute!!

17. How every once and a while I find Matthew steam mopping the floor. Even though it's a knock-off steam mop, he does a great job!

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I read this the other day & it really struck a cord in me :) 

What happens after midnight is always hard to remember...

So last night I feel like I was awake more than sleeping. 

When we woke up, Matthew says to me "I'm so tired!" "I feel like the kids were up like 8 times last night"...." Didn't I make Bentley's bottle like 4 times". Granted it was a crazy night, but here is what actually happened.

We went to bed WAY later than we should have, all that cold medicine was kicking in and made it hard to fall asleep. Then at around 2 (I think) Bentley woke of screaming!! He was so mad, he wouldn't let me cuddle him or anything. I had Matthew go get his bottle because his Uncle was sleeping on the the couch and I didn't feel like getting caught in my skivvies. So Matthew got his bottle (it was already made). Matthew then put him back to bed. Not even 2 minutes later he was screaming again!!!! Clearly he wanted more to eat. So I had Matthew go down again and make another bottle. Poor Matthew had no clue what was happening. I sat with Bentley in his room, and because he was screaming so loud Adelade woke up and sat with us. Apparently we were having an after hours party! I gave Bentley bottle number 2 and put them both back to bed. Thank goodness it worked!! 

Then around 3 I heard Adelade wake up and walk downstairs. I was worried she was going to freak out because Matthew's uncle was sleeping on the couch. Instead she just came back upstairs and asked me in her most awake voice ever "mommy can we cuddle?" I was so confused! Haha. I put her back to bed...I think?! 

Then a few hours later I heard Adelade go pee, she came in asking for more underwear. Matthew and I didn't know what was going on, we told her to go get her underwear as she knows where it is. She was all like "okay, yah sure" The thing that threw me off is she sounded so awake, it was as if it was the middle of the day. Oh Adelade!! Haha

Then a few hours after that I woke up and it was 8:30AM!! What the??! How is that even possible! It's like Christmas when the kids sleep past 7. 

So as it turns out the kids were not awake 8 times rather 3, maybe 4. Also, only 1 bottle was made...not 4. Oh what the minds thinks when you are completely delirious! Paha!! 

It's all worth it for these 2 cuties!! 

Parenting rocks....eh?! 

Saturday mornings!

I wish I could say Saturday mornings are filled with pancakes and adventures, but I can't. 

Saturday mornings used to consist of me waking up before everyone else and going for a long run. This kind of impeded any family weekend traditions. For the last 12 weeks I haven't run, so no long runs on Saturdays. Lately I've been hitting the gym around 8, then coming home to the kids watching cartoons and then depending on how we are feeling, which is usually cranky...hah! Well usually one very small cute person with big blue eyes and crazy curly hair (Benty boo!) is cranky so he naps while I get ready and then sometimes we go out, and sometimes we don't. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the "things" I didn't do all week--laundry, cleaning, dishes, organizing, so it kind of puts a damper on the day when I go all "momfreak". 

When Matthew and I first got married we talked about how much we hated HATED doing chores on Saturday mornings. We had big plans of doing chores during the week, thus leaving Saturday's for fun!! Well let me tell you how great that worked out, or didn't. We have a really messy house and our chores definitely don't get done during the week. So this leaves me with the question, maybe Saturday morning chores are where it's at? Who knows?! 

I used to feel bad about how our Saturday's weren't filled with exciting adventures and weekend getaways, but now I'm realizing that simpleness is more my thing. I used to get overwhelmed by planning trips, having enough food, clothes-- etc. etc. but now sometimes all we have to do is leave the house. Seriously sometimes we do just that, we get in the car--crankiness and all and then decide on where to go. If we don't have something we need, we buy it, or go back home. Less stress, more fun. I'm working at it! 

Tender moments

The other day I hit my head on the corner of the kitchen cupboard. Ouch!! It hurt so bad. I was keeled over holding my head as Adelade asked me "what's wrong mommy?" I replied "mommy hurt her head". I was in the middle of dishing up lunch so as I was putting food on the table, Adelade then said to me "mommy do you want me to kiss it better?" (Awwww) I of course said yes!! 

Then this morning I was sitting on the couch with a really bad terrible awful worst headache. Adelade came over and again asked "do you want me to kiss it better?" Yes please!! 

Lately Adelade has really been into dancing. She turns on this little Christmas toy that plays music. Then she uses the rug in the living room as her stage. She spreads her arms and twirls on her tippy toes. Sometimes she even closes her eyes and tumbles around on the ground. It's actually quite emotive. Even Bentley now walks around trying to stand on his tippy toes and spread his arms. It is seriously the cutest thing ever.